Standards
Writer: Sophie Brooks
Editors: Kate Mintz and Riley Zachem
“Standards,” my dad announced as he lifted his glass to toast.
“If I could describe Sophie in one word it would be standards. There is no one with more integrity to the vision they have set for themself—no one more unrelenting when it comes to the people they choose to surround themself with, the outfits they choose to wear, the classes they choose to take … you have an astounding strength to accept nothing short of the standards you have set for yourself.”
Tears filled my eyes as I listened to his words. On my 18th birthday, at a beachside table overlooking the Malibu coastline, a gentle breeze stroking my cheeks, and a blown-out candle resting delicately on the warm chocolate chip cookies I had subbed for a birthday cake, I felt undeniably satiated.
“Standards,” I would begin to joke to my boyfriend of three years as he rolled his eyes at my insistence on only studying next to windows or driving to two separate cafes, one for coffee and bagels at the other. I took pride in defining myself by my perfectionism.
I recently read the definition of a perfectionist: someone who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection. At the start of this year, in the wake of my first break-up, I finally learned the limitations of this definition. As I bawled my eyes out on my dorm room floor, convinced my life would never be “perfect” again, my best friend Eliza looked at me and said, “perfect is boring. No one wants to be friends with perfect.”
In this moment, I learned that the belief I had so confidently used to define myself, no longer served me. Suddenly, I realized the world I was missing out on because I refused to accept life for what it truly is — complicated, messy, imperfect. I finally allowed myself to relinquish this narrative I had so desperately clung to for control.
While standards are absolutely an integral part of my identity, standards, just like anything in life, are best kept in moderation.
A few months later, I received a card from Eliza on Valentine’s Day that read, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” While striving is essential to building a life we aspire for, refusal to accept anything short of perfection is not only a life bound for disappointment but a boring one.
So on this day, nearing my 20th birthday, I would like to make a new toast: Here’s to imperfection.
